Artist: Mal Beveridge

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Mal Beveridge

G’day, I’m Mal Beveridge, a Moreton Bay Bush Poet and a long-time member of Australia’s premier bush poetry club, North Pine Bush Poets. I’ve been writing and performing with success for ten years and I absolutely love sharing my poetry as a performer and very soon in my upcoming book, Words in Motion Vol 1. From the sublime to the ridiculous I will take you on an on-stage or written journey that will have you crying with pathos and howling in laughter! I first started writing bush poetry as a young bloke but then life took me down the usual pathways that left little time for the poetic itch in the back of my head. In 2008 I took up writing again and surprised myself with a Highly Commended in the Grenfell Henry Lawson Festival of Arts and started performing publicly in 2012 when I won 'The Patsy" novice competitor award at Tenterfield. I have been lucky enough to receive quite a number of ‘written’ awards over the years but it is performing in front of an audience that really rings my bells.

Area:  Brisbane, South East Qld

Years Performing: 12

Entertainment style:  Humorous, Serious, Traditional Bush Poetry, Other

Merchandise: Books and CD's coming soon!

Poet/Writers work

The Curious Tango

adapted as a performance version
©Mal Beveridge 2017

It was ladies choice at the local dance
when the shortest girl took the greatest chance
for she’d set her heart on the tallest bloke
and the locals thought it the greatest joke
when they danced, a curious tango.

It was Long John Best was the bloke she sought
and she’d gone all out with the dress she’d bought
and she did not care, though she knew it true,
……..he was seven foot four, she was four foot two
and they danced, a curious tango.

With her plunging cleavage from seven four
when he looked straight down he could see the floor
and she knew this sight would just fan his flame
as she pulled his strings and she played the game
while they danced, a curious tango.

But she could not keep to the tango beat
so she whacked one foot upon both his feet
and the razor heels on the shoes she wore
well they almost pinned Long John to the floor
as they danced, a curious tango.

Well they whirled around with a trail of blood,
if he lifts one foot then it stops the flood
but he has to put it down ‘cause the other one hurts
and there was no way he could stop the squirts
as they danced, a curious tango.

But she raised her heels as they danced on by
and he leapt with pain and he leapt so high
and she held on tight as he double flipped
and it was plain to see when her neck line slipped
as they danced, a curious tango.

Well they landed hard by the dunny door
and her razor heels went through to the floor
and he screamed in pain and with nix to lose
he pulled her up through her dress and shoes
as they danced, a curious tango.

Well the crowd went wild at the sight they saw
‘cause the shortest sheila was in the raw
and she had one leg hooked around his head –
when she dipped her back ‘What the hell is that?’ was all he said
(he was a bit slow)
as they danced, a curious tango.

Well the cheering crowd had not seen such fun
so he dropped her down but the deed was done
and he wrapped her up and he held her tight
and they sashayed off in a whirl of light
as they danced, a curious tango.

Now believe this tale if you will or no,
when the local blokes to the dances go
they all wear boots with a steel capped toe……
and the sheilas wear dresses cut way too low
as they dance, The Curious Tango!

Yes they dance The Curious Tango!